Holly Theisen-Jones writes humorous fiction, essays, and satire. Her first book will be published by Chronicle Books in 2023, and her other work has appeared in McSweeney’s Internet Tendency, Points in Case, and The Belladonna Comedy. In 2017, her short humor piece “My Fully Optimized Life Allows me Ample Time to Optimize Yours” was included in the anthology Keep on Scrollin’ Don’t Stop: More Favorites from McSweeney’s Internet Tendency. The piece struck a chord with west coast wellness influencers who did not realize it was satire. She was invited to speak at several conferences and offered coaching contracts.
Holly is also a nationally certified counselor. She specializes in college counseling and anxiety management and has developed behavioral health content for professionals working with human trafficking survivors. Born and raised in Atlanta, Holly spent seven years in Germany where she received a master’s degree in Natural Resource Management from Humboldt University of Berlin and worked as a translator, copywriter, and project manager.
Before pursuing a career in counseling, Holly worked as a horticulturist with tropical and endangered plants. Two slipped discs and a hundred dead specimens later, she mercifully called it quits, but she has been collecting and propagating houseplants ever since. In her free time, she enjoys trying out new languages on Duolingo, making up new recipes with varied success, working on her unfinished novels, and reading anything other than her phone.
She lives in Atlanta with her husband, son, and six pet frogs.