About Holly
Holly is a humor writer based in Decatur, Georgia. Her first book, The Green Dumb Guide to Houseplants, will be available from Chronicle Books in May, 2023. (Please pre-order from Little Shop of Stories on Decatur Square!) Her other work has appeared in McSweeney’s Internet Tendency, Points in Case, and the slush piles of many other publications. She is also the author of two half-finished novels and a crypt of untouched stand-up jokes that may only be opened over her dead body. In 2017, her short humor piece “My Fully Optimized Life Allows me Ample Time to Optimize Yours” struck a chord with west coast wellness influencers who did not realize it was satire. She was invited to speak at several conferences and offered coaching contracts.
Holly is an identical twin, a skilled Tarot card reader, and a former high school mascot. She has a master’s degree in environmental management, which is extremely distressing, so she got a master’s in counseling, which is also very helpful for dealing with rejection letters. If by MFA you mean “mildly foreign affect,” then yes, she has one.
In her free time, Holly enjoys repeating the same five Ukrainian lessons on Duolingo, following her favorite quail breeders on Instagram, and cutting up magazines into cheerful collages that look like ransom notes from her subconscious. She loves the idea of hiking.
Holly lives with her husband, son, and six pet dart frogs who like to sing along to the TV. The frogs were bred in captivity and are non-toxic.
Or are they?
Holly Theisen-Jones 